730 Deep Breaths

A 730 day journal- documenting the life of a woman with mental illness.

Nice to Meet You.

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The photo above means the world to me. It was taken during one of the most powerful moments of my life. 

It will be the face of this blog.

As a professionally trained photographer, I can look at this photo and pick it apart… bad lighting, poor resolution, high contrast, too much hue, etc.

As a person, I look at this photo and I feel empowered.

Prior to this picture I was falling apart.

Walking is my only outlet, it is the only thing I have found that can actually help me overcome my anxiety. Without it I end up vomiting until I am emaciated and end up in the hospital.

This pictures means so much to me for so many reasons. 

1. I look happy. An emotion I have been unable to find on my face in months.

2. I look healthy. I have color in my face, I am a healthy weight, and my skin is clear.

3. I know when this was taken, I felt like I was on top of the world. For the first time in my life I was able to face my panic and overcome it. Until this point I merely ignored it, or tried to distract myself from it. But at this moment, I had just finished running my fear away, crying my pain away, and working through my problems.

4. I am outside. For months I isolated myself inside my home, afraid to even go to the gas station down the road.

5. When I look at it, I feel hope. I feel so much hope that I made this blog.

6. I look like nothing in the world could break me. And that is the woman I need to become.

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