730 Deep Breaths

A 730 day journal- documenting the life of a woman with mental illness.

Read All About It


I decided to fill you in on a few things. I don’t celebrate my accomplishments nearly enough.

I am over 60 anxiety attacks FREE from vomiting. 

This is a huge accomplishment for me. I haven’t been able to stop my nausea during anxiety in nearly 13 years.

Also, all of the exercise that I have been doing to try to stay healthy, active, and confident has really started to show results. I am starting to truly accept my body and feel prideful about my figure.

I have a doctor’s appointment on Friday to check up on my medications and finally get my Psych Referral so I can begin therapy. I need a few adjustments- a higher dosage of my sleeping medicine so I can better tackle my insomnia and possibly an MRI for the constant headaches I am always getting.

These aren’t connected to my anxiety. My headaches started about 3 years ago and only occur in the lower back portion of my neck when I laugh to hard or talk too much. Basically, when I am winded. Does anybody else have a similar problem? If so any light you can shed on the situation would be great.

I have never suffered from headaches before so I am a bit baffled by the sudden and continuous migraines.

I have also begun building my case for SSDI. This is something that I have fought almost 3 years to avoid. It almost depresses me. I love to work and I truly loved my previous job, but I am unable to beat this right now and after years of no income I am truly suffering. People tend to assume this is me giving up. When in fact it is the exact opposite. I need this. And once I get better, I will certainly return to work. For the time being, however, I need help. I can’t pay for my medical expenses or living expenses and the financial instability is only worsening my anxiety and stress levels.

I need to remind myself that I deserve SSDI. This way I can stop beating myself up about it.

However, the battle that is about to ensue between myself and the federal government will surely not be an easy one. I have to prove that I have anxiety and am not mooching off the government like those who are.






4 thoughts on “Read All About It

  1. You definitely deserve SSDI. Anxiety is real, and debilitating. I don’t throw up but I have asthma attacks. It’s nice to know there are others out there like me. Take care.

  2. I agree with you about SSDI……it is a benefit that will help you get better, and you deserve it. Hope it’s not as tough to get as you are anticipating.

  3. Congratulations on your accomplishments and good luck on your quest!

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